5 Eskimos to join the Malaysian football team

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5 Eskimos to join the Malaysian football team
Lattalalit Thamplom, Monyet News Network, 29 July 2011


Bukit Jalil, 29 July. The Malaysian football team, Harimau Malaya, is set to be strengthened with imported talents. Having seen first-hand how imported players helped Singapore soundly beat Malaysia, the Football Organization & Association of Malaysia (FOAM) today announced the inclusion of 5 Eskimos and 3 Sherpas in the national team.

Speaking to the media at a hastily arranged press conference at its headquarters near Bukit Jalil, the FOAMs Director of Talents (DOT), Datuk Paul Kuppusamy said imported players are the way of future. We cannot rely only on home grown talents anymore. You all saw how the mat salleh in the Singapore team made us look like amateurs. That bugger probably has never even eaten chicken rice before but he won the game for Singapore

The coach of the national team, Datuk Nordin Mat, who was also present at the media conference added Just look at France - the entire national team is of African origin. We should not rely on Malays, Indians or Ibans or Dusuns only. We need foreign blood. So today we would like to announce that we have signed on 5 Eskimos and 3 Sherpas to strengthen our team.

When queried for the rationale behind recruiting Eskimos, Datuk Kuppusamy told newsmen one of the problems with our current players is they tend to lose their cool when under pressure. Since Eskimos are used to cool conditions, we thought they will complement our existing players. Of course, we know that Eskimos dont play foot ball very well but that is a small matter. What is important is that we need players who can remain cool.

5 players from the Siberian football team will join Harimau Malaya


Coach Datuk Nordin added We realize we have a long road ahead of us. We need to really beef up our skills and endurance. But we are prepared to meet these challenges. No matter how high the mountain, we will climb it. Thats the reason why we have also signed on 3 Sherpas from Nepal to join our team. They are good at mountain climbing, you know.

Monyet News Network wishes Harimau Malaya all the best.











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