The adult shame — Mary Varghese

Editor Note: This Is Not A Porn ...

FEB 25 — As someone who has been an academic for close to two decades in institutions of higher learning, I am always impressed by the intelligence and, also, frequently dismayed by the crassness of the mostly middle-class youngsters who come to us for an education.

What the classroom is, is a microcosm of the bigger world out there. If we complain of the rudeness and crassness of young people, we must also critically examine the manner in which the adults live and conduct themselves to see where these patterns of behaviour are learned.

Driving to work this morning, I had a close encounter with one example of what adults do and how this may set patterns for the young. Travelling from Ara Damansara, I take the new elevated highway above Jalan Kemajuan from the old Subang Airport Road, which has a single lane exit toward the roundabout in front of Sri KL school.

Generally, early in the morning, the brief ride on the highway after exiting Subang Airport road to get to the roundabout is a mere 3-5 minutes. This morning the same distance took me a bout 30-35 minutes. At 7.30am and there was already a jam on the elevated highway, with cars waiting patiently.

And then the madness began, first one car and then another began to form a second lane and then a third at the exit down the ramp, leading down to the Sri KL roundabout.

Many of these cars were gleaming, imported BMW’s, Honda’s and Toyotas. One particular driver in a BMW pulled in close to where I was waiting in the jam and began to edge in, trying to cut me off.

I glanced over and could see that it was a young father with two obviously primary school age children with him in the car. The battle for space began with this young father trying to edge in and to cut me off.

All this while he appeared to also be talking and laughing with the very young children who could also see what he was doing. I was appalled at the example he was setting. There was already another car that had cut in in front of me earlier, annoying me.

To make matters worse, there were even heavy vehicles getting in on the act. I counted at least three big vehicles doing this same thing and even blocking the motorists on the right lane who were going straight.

Finally, the teacher in me must have kicked in. I took out my mobile phone and began taking pictures of these cars that were cutting in in front of me as well as moving in dangerously close to me.

I could see that the young father in the BMW saw what I was doing. He quickly stopped trying to edge in and allowed me to continue on my way. I looked at him for a moment and shook my head at him. He had the grace to look away.

What struck me at the moment was the lack of self-regulation and discipline adults display. It looks like there has to be a threat of exposure or humiliation before an adult will do the right thing.

Why are we so surprised when our young people do the same? In fact, I have often felt that the media frequently plays up problems created by youths without examining precedents set by adults.

To the nicely dressed gentleman in the BMW with the two young children and the driver of the other car: “Shame on you!”

In about 10 years or so, if I am still in the academic world, your children could well come to me for an education.

I pray that by then your ways would not have damaged them so much that basic courtesy and good manners on the road and everywhere else will have to be something that I and my colleagues will have to struggle to instil in them.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication. The Malaysian Insider does not endorse the view unless specified.